No More Excuses!!!!!
It appears to be an epidemic. Burnt out, exhausted, depressed, and stretched to fraying women. You won’t see this on social media and we hide it even from our closest friends until we can’t carry on any more.
As women we seem to abandon advocating for our personal needs and slowly begin to do only the basic things to care for ourselves.
We abandon the things that refill us, because we begin to see our performance of roles as higher priority than refilling and caring for ourselves. The way I see it, this tends to begin after marriage and then especially after having children.
We abandon the important things that refill us because “we don’t have time”, our “kids and hubby are more important”, and we get caught up in appearing the best we can in each role we take on. Then we tend to lose ourselves in those roles.
We abandon the skill of being able to tell our hubbies, “right now I really need...(for example...”an hour to myself to do something I enjoy uninterrupted”, “for you to take over the kids’ bedtime routine tonight”, “a chance to reconnect with some girlfriends who get me”, etc.) “How can we make that happen?”
We abandon the things that refill us and end up feeling stretched to the max, stretched to the point of fraying.
We are all familiar with the commercial airlines pre-flight safety speel where the flight attendants tell about the oxygen masks. They say that if you’re traveling with a child and the oxygen masks come down, you’re supposed to put a mask on yourself first, then your child. That feels so wrong when we want to put others, especially our family before ourselves. Yet, consider this. Putting the oxygen mask on your child first before putting on your own, is being very shortsighted. If you put the mask on your child first, you may pass out from lack of oxygen. Then who will be there to comfort your child, pray with your child and talk them through this scary time?
It’s the same with taking care of and advocating for ourselves! What will happen if we get to a place where we cant be all that we need to be for our families?
We have to make sure that we are caring for ourselves and refilling ourselves no matter what that looks like and the effort it takes.
Maybe it takes a lot of effort and coordination of schedules to find time to refill ourselves. Or maybe it takes a few small things across each day. Either way, we cannot let our own care and refilling, as women, wives and mothers, be a thing that rarely to never happens. Doing that is short sighted!
If we choose to leave refilling and advocating for ourselves as a rare occurrence, at some point we will cross the line from being stretched to being stretched, fraying, falling apart, and not being the best of ourselves that we can be!
We all want to be the best wife, the best mom, and the best friend we can be. God does not expect us to give so much of ourselves that there is nothing left of us.
Sisters we cannot do this!! We cannot give so much of ourselves, that we’re no good to ourselves and our families!
So, start here:
Figure out where that line between stretched versus stretched and fraying is!
Be mindful! Figure out where that line is for you, make a decision, and take action to avoid crossing it.
When considering what it means to take care of ourselves, know that it must be fluid and flexible. The type or amount of care we need depends on where we are in life, what age our children are, what season we’re in, for those of us in agriculture, etc.
Don’t figure that what worked for you as a single woman, will refill you as a married woman or a mother.
What works to refill you during the winter, may not work to refill you during calving, seeding and/or harvest.
Don’t abandon caring for yourself just because life gets hard, things get messy and/or life gets too busy. Make caring for yourself a daily priority! Schedule it if you have to.
We can’t risk this!
We can’t let go of caring and advocating for ourselves, no matter the reason. Our lives and the lives of our family are too important.
No more excuses!